out in the open
by DarkSigyn
Summary: continuing "Shelter" Donald decides to get back to work which might not be the best idea...
1. Fact

Liz didn't stay. At least not for long. They had agreed that it might be too much of a risk. Not that Don was expecting someone, not that anyone would drop by just like her, yet with Red being out in the open once again it might not be a good idea if she did stay. Before that she had pressed herself against him like it was most normal thing for her to do to him. Her scent still lingered in his nose, and he thought that he was still able to sense her skin on his fingertips, but as she moved away everything seemed so much colder.

Donald frowned as he realized that he was looking at the door again instead of the TV, trying to remember if he had even said a single word as Liz told him that it was better for her to leave. He knew he had nodded and tried to avoid her eyes, so that she wouldn't see that a part of him didn't care about what was reasonable and what was not. However he knew that her staying would have been even worse. Worse for him apparently. And yet he wasn't able to get his mind of wondering how it would have been, how it would have felt, to wake up next to her.

He forced his eyes back to the television, but he had no idea what was on the screen right now, he didn't even see it. Instead his glance landed on her bottle. One single sip: she hadn't drunk more beer and his was empty. Donald didn't move to get it, instead he kept staring. The faint memory, pushed to the corners of his mind was the only thing that made him feel warm. He wasn't freezing but still it seemed like the temperature in his apartment had dropped.

"You're just tired", he murmured to himself and got up, leaving the empty and the almost full bottle on the desk, while the rest of his place was neat and orderly.  
That image was a distortion, like a smear on a perfectly clean window and still he couldn't bring himself to get those two bottles and bring them to the counter.

Ressler didn't bring his place back to order until the next morning, when he got ready to work; even though Cooper had told him to not get back to the post office until next week. But now it was him being haunted by his own place, just like Liz before and meeting her in their usual surrounding should expel the ghost she had left at his place, making everything appear inhabitable and cold.

The post office already was exactly this and just what it should be. Entering the garage with his car almost felt like coming home, even more handing over his ID card and stepping into the yellow elevator. The cracked ribs were merely an echo to how receiving the injury had felt. He had been through worse. A shotgun had broken his upper leg; he almost had bled to death, so there was no excuse for him taking off more than a few days. All these thoughts Ressler summoned into his head were muffling down that one voice that nagged ever since he decided to get to work today: that getting here would mean seeing her. Not hearing this threat was also ignoring the risk of not waiting until the memory had lessened. But in fact work had always been the solution to all his problems. And Liz had been one of them before. It couldn't get worse.

"Ressler, what are you doing here?" Cooper's rough voice echoed through the entrance hall like he was using a megaphone; and Donald wouldn't have been surprised to see his boss holding one.

He wasn't. Instead it was a cell. Its display was dark so Cooper hadn't gotten off of it right now, but rather had been about to call someone. He got the faint feeling that it might have been him. At least he still was good with being timely. Right then Liz appeared in Ressler's field of vision, as if she had sensed his thought, and all of the sudden this smug thought about his talent was absolutely out of place.  
And even though he managed to break eye contact quickly, tearing his glance away from her to his boss again, there was this mere second of seeing her puzzlement about his reaction and the fact that his heart was beating too fast. From now on she probably would see much more in every reaction of his. Ressler's jaw tensed briefly.

"My job, Sir", he answered Cooper, not stopping his way to the desks.  
"Good thing that I don't need to call you in then", Cooper replied. "We've got a call from Reddington."  
"Reddington?" Donald echoed and frowned, managing to look briefly at Liz without his heart making a leap against his ribcage.  
"He wants to talk to me in person", Liz responded and Ressler tried to ignore the cognition that she seemed to speak more softly than she used to.  
"And he requested that no one but you should take her to the rendezvous point", Cooper added and put down his phone.  
"Seemed you got a promotion", Malik grinned widely, not knowing what she was implying to two of her colleagues, but even if she would have had an idea she might not even have cared – at least Ressler was telling this to himself.  
All he did was giving her a short look and a hinted smirk in return before he nodded at Cooper and turned around, walking straight back to the elevator that just had brought him down, and not waiting for Keen.

There was no difference to his behavior to the one before. Yesterday hadn't changed that. Maybe Liz would wonder about this, about how he able to act just the same. Fact was that he always had been aware of her presence, that his senses always had been alerted when she was in the room, that the spot she filled in every space was the warmest of them all to his senses. It was so easy for him because it never had been easy around her and as long as he kept his eyes away from her, it would not become any difficult than it had been all the time.


	2. Stinger

Ressler didn't give her a look after their eyes had met briefly as Keen stepped next to him. Silence stayed between them like a thick fog with only the creaking noise of the elevator moving.

"I'll drive", Liz suddenly decided and turned halfway towards him, holding out her hand palm up, expecting him to hand over the keys but instead he simply cocked one brow at her.

"What?" she dropped her hand offended. "You always drive and you're hurt."

There was almost no change in Donald's facial expression, but she had looked at it often enough to read the micro movements, especially since the last night. He could have responded with everything; like yesterday she couldn't have cared less about his injury, or that in Red's eyes is only purpose was being her chauffeur, or that her asking to drive wasn't even what she truly wanted to talk about, or that this never had been an issue before. But he said nothing, just looked at her and they both realized that this was the one and only reason she had asked for the car keys in the first place. And now they ended up staring at each other, which never had happened. They had exchanged thousands of glances, always either briefly or connected to a conversation, always on the job.

The jerky movement was neither of them erasing the space between them to regain the taste of the day before but the six feet square room coming to a stop. Liz wondered how he did that, how he simply turned his face away and moved. Placing one foot in front of the other, she figured, and mimicked him. She could see it in the way he moved that he was still hurting and he didn't try to hide it. That actually was something about him she liked, more than that when she was honest to herself. Ressler wasn't the guy wasting energy to build up a strong façade. Being hurt wasn't a weakness, being emotionally compromised was. And as he shot a brief glance towards her opening the door to the driver's side Liz knew that he was when it came to her. She only had absolutely no idea since when. This question held her in a choking grasp and it made the urge to catch his face and kiss the air out of his lungs even more unbearable.

Ressler didn't start the engine until she was seated and belted next to him yet he avoided to look at her. She went with it. They were still at the garage, still monitored, still at the job and they had agreed on separating things. However him showing up at work today unexpectedly was just a proof to her how wrong they had been. Because her heart had leaped the second she saw him, because her breath had turned shallow as Cooper repeated Red's request of Donald escorting her.

"He knows", she suddenly broke the silence and noticed that they were already out on the street, following the directions Red had given them.

Ressler hesitated, but after a moment he drily responded way differently than she had expected: "Of course he does." He sounded painfully gentle and finally he looked at her, just in the same way. She could tell by his expression, that he had known this the second she had stood in his door frame, and he still didn't regret it.

"Pull over", she said, her voice hoarsely and again he cocked that damn brow of his, asking: "What?" even though he had perfectly heard her.  
"Pull over", she repeated impatiently. "Now."

That he looked concerned, even worried compared to his usual stoic glance, that he had no idea why she told him to do this, made her want to squeeze her beating heart right now and then. This time he instantly followed her order and brought the car to a full stop at the side of the road. There was almost no traffic as they were in a harbor area and most people were at their work.

"Are you okay?" he frowned slightly, turning towards her.

Whatever he had wanted to add it was doomed to be stuck in his throat as Liz imprisoned his face with her hands and pulled his mouth onto hers, kissing the air out of his lungs just like she had wanted fifteen minutes ago. His hands however stopped her from moving closer. After all they were out in the open. And if Red hadn't known until now, he definitely would after that stunt of hers.

"I shouldn't have left", she murmured against his lips, breathing in deeply, gently brushing her fingertips across his flushed cheeks and then managed to pull away and sit up straight in her seat.

"It was the right thing to do", he answered and cleared his throat. "And you know that." He brought the car back to the street.

"I wanted to avoid anyone finding out", Liz watched him not looking to her, trying to focus onto his task while she wondered how he managed to do that after her kissing him like that.

"You really want me to believe that?" his voice was almost monotonous now.

"Yes, you are right, I wasn't thinking", her eyes dropped to her hand stroking the burning scar on her wrist. "That's how you do this, right? You just keep thinking. Facts. Rules. Steps. One straw after the other. How is that living?"

"That is how I got where I am now, Liz" – her name from his mouth gave her goose bumps. "I never had anyone smoothing the way for me."

She knew that he didn't mean to judge her with his words but it stung anyway.


	3. Focus

Liz' gaze dropped to her scar again as she tried to hide the reaction to the imaginary slap she just had received, reminding her that he hadn't meant it like that and realizing that he probably never meant to speak hurtfully towards her. It almost made her laugh in retrospective.  
"I guess I can be extremely annoying, being that emotional and instinctive", she spoke out her thoughts and saw him react out of the corner of her eyes; in fact he looked at her very often when she didn't seem to give him any attention and she wondered if this has always been like that. "And ignorant", she added quickly and her eyes watched him tense, making her think 'bingo'.

There she always thought that Ressler was a cold, arrogant fish, when he just had been trying to point out the reasonable point of view, the handbook way, and how to be rational. He was carefully building card houses and she stormed right through them, because there was something shimmering on the other side.  
Again, Ressler stayed silent and apparently this was something that annoyed her about him. Either he only spoke when there were facts to secure his reason or when she pestered him until he broke. Liz turned her head towards him, smiling almost infatuatedly, because she knew that she was really good at that.  
"Admit it", she grinned and again he cocked his brow at her, failing to pester her with it; not this time. "You disobeyed Cooper's order because you missed me."  
His reaction was a tensed jaw and a straight line of lips. This was enough reaction for her and she sat back with a satisfied smirk, saying: "Yes, you are right. We're working. I almost forgot. And I missed you too by the way. I hoped that you would show up and I have no idea why I am telling you this."  
Ressler's eyes were glued to the street now and the monitor that showed directions. They were almost there. Apart from that he had the thought that Liz might be lying, or maybe she only had just realized what the reason for her almost uncharacteristic behavior was. He wasn't the best at figuring out people, but he knew this kind of change, he knew why people started to behave like giggling Teenagers and he almost hit the breaks to look for his heart at the bottom of the car.  
"Are you okay? You look pale", he heard Liz being concerned, although she should have been able to tell; yet apparently she wasn't always that good at figuring out people she was in love with, was she?

"I'm fine", Donald managed to answer and sensed how she looked at him, her eyes being all big and somewhat worried, and something else, something that made it very hard to concentrate on the road, to focus on the task.

Right now all he wanted was to pull over again and continued what he had managed to stop just a few minutes ago and he asked himself how this could work? There was no way going back to how things were and obviously it was also impossible to maintain reason and rationality. She definitely couldn't. At least now.  
"We're there", he brought out and failed to hide his relief, yet she wasn't mad at him about it, but gave her attention to the warehouse where they had stopped and frowned, because it looked forlorn and usually Red would rather reside at the most exclusive hotel than a place like this.  
Looking at Ressler she didn't need her skills to see that he did share that opinion. Still both got out of the car and their guns ready to approach the building. They didn't know to expect. Probably they rather thought of Reddington having prepared a romantic hideaway for them than him sitting there. However it was a black Bentley which ending instantly ignited as they stepped inside. It didn't make them lower their guns until the driver's window was sliding down to show Dembe's face. He only slightly moved his head, gesturing them to get into the car. Liz didn't hesitate and put away her weapon, giving Ressler a skeptical glance as he didn't move.

"You too", Dembe droned, as if the Agent's reluctance had nothing to do with breaking protocol, blindly trusting a criminal or mistrusting him.  
Yet those two words were enough to follow Liz' example and secure the weapon and Dembe ignored the fact that her hand briefly touched Ressler's lower arm. Also he decided that he didn't hear him murmur 'focus' as they turned towards the back door to open it.  
As they already anticipated there was no Red on any of the two opponent backseats and as Liz sat down on the one facing her in the driving direction, Donald sat down across from her. Not being able to touch her through minimal movement was preferable to barely avoiding looking at her.  
Dembe waited just a few seconds until he started driving and as the car moved Ressler got his phone out of his pocket.  
"I don't think that's a good idea", Liz said monotonously and directed her eyes to the window so that they wouldn't met his when the frowned at her, but he sighed and put the device where it came from. "I thought you'd be used to that by now", she added reluctantly not changing her pose, trying to focus onto their job just as Ressler did.  
"That still doesn't change the protocol", was his reply and his voice sounded even deeper than usual.


End file.
